Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Last week I did a lotta work for notalotta money; AKA a garage sale. My friend Brenda was having a garage sale at her house and I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to get rid of, so I thought I'd throw in my junk and join her. I ended up making about $100. So I didn't clear minimum wage with the amount of hours I worked, but the time spent with a good friend was priceless! So, here's the deal: I had some absolutely horrible looking holiday crap. Let me take you down memory lane for a minute.

Item #1: This awesome . . .uh . . .doll? . . .was bought at a garage sale way back when. "When" being those poor days when I wanted desperately to have some Christmas decorations but couldn't afford all the beautiful wreaths and candles in the stores. So this . . .uh . . .doll? . . .would have to work. After all, it has on a holiday-looking dress, right? But let's evaluate her for a moment, shall we? First off, what exactly is SHE (let's assume it's a she because it's wearing a dress)? My first guess would be a sheep? But I'm also wondering about a bunny who has it's ears hidden underneath that cool mop hairdo? And what about the contents of her bag? It appears that the she-sheep was trying to carry some festive holiday items, but darn it, they just keep dumping out. Maybe whoever came up with the awesome design for she-sheep could have at least had her hold the bag upright. And about her pioneer outfit . . .no, let's not even go there.

Item #2: These festive figurines were inherited at an Elders Quorum party many years ago. When the party was announced, Ryan and I assumed it was a "white elephant" kind of event. We took a nasty-looking, very used, hideous purse that we were too embarressed to let Brynlie play with anymore. I'm not even sure where the hideous purse had come from. I'm pretty sure my daughter must have gone dumpster-diving and found it. Anyway, as we arrived at the party, we realized that other couple's had purchased their gifts. We played a game where, on your turn, you could either open a new present or "steal" one from someone else. As I remember it, there were some pretty good gifts that came and went through our hands. And these awesome figurines were still in my hands when the game ended. Isn't it amazing that no one wanted to steal them from me along the way? What is up with people thinking that critters dressed up in holiday gear make adorable Christmas decorations? I don't ever remember reading that a bunny was in the inn when the Christ child was born.

Item #3: Oh, this one has got to be my favorite. My favorite ugly decoration, that is. Do I really need to try to explain this one? A turkey doing the splits? Really?! This awesome decoration was also bought at a garage sale (WHAT was I thinking?! I actually used my hard-earned money to aquire this beauty?) back in those less-advantaged days. For some reason, any time I look at this turkey I expect it to start singing opera. Can't you just picture it doing the splits, putting it's hands up in the air and belting out a high-soprano tune? Now here's the kicker: a sweet older lady actually bought this from me at my sale! Yes, that's right. This turkey is sitting in a box somewhere feeling darn prideful, because at least 3 different individuals have found him attractive enough to purchase. (I'm assuming this one is a boy, but with those puffy shoulder-pads, I'm thinking he's considering transexuality). Oh, and by the time he had been purchased at the sale (the end of the second day) the sun had warmed him up to the point that his wings had fallen off in back. And the lady bought him ANYWAY, without even taking the wings to fix him later!
So here's your duty: You now must vote in the poll to the left and say which of these creations is the ugliest. I feel badly for you, because I know it's going to be a difficult choice.