Happiness

Lately I stop many times during the day and realize just how happy I am. After giving birth to Logan last year I struggled through some post-partum depression. It wasn't horribly severe, but definitely not fun. I had never suffered from PPD before, so I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. It was so strange, and so unlike me. I kept thinking that I just needed to give myself more time to adjust to having a baby, because OF COURSE having 4 kids would be hard. But it didn't get better until a couple people told me I needed to get some help. I realized that something must be chemically wrong with me because my life had never been better, yet I wasn't able to enjoy it. I responded quickly to the medication the doctor put me on. Within just a few weeks I felt like myself again and I didn't feel a constant weight of sadness. Now it's been many months and never again will I take happiness for granted. I always believed that some people really did suffer from depression, and coming from a family where my Dad is a therapist, I knew that medications can do wonders. But I was extremely hesitant when it came to my own happiness because I felt like I was a failure if I couldn't do it on my own. But thank heaven for modern-day medicines! Since then, I have often thought about Emma Smith. I love Emma. I studied her life many years ago when I felt a desire to know more about her. My heart breaks when I think of the trials she had to endure in her life, both before the Prophet was killed and after. I'm sure that many Saints gave her such a hard time when she chose to stay in her beloved Nauvoo instead of traveling West. My take on this (Ali doctrine :)) is that she had to endure all her hardships before there was talk about post-traumatic-stress-disorder and depression. I wonder how much happier she could have been if she'd had the gift of some Zoloft and some therapy sessions with my Dad! :) I think anyone who has really struggled through trials, especially the loss of a spouse or a child, can have empathy for sweet Emma.

Ryan and I went on our weekend date to the Country Club Plaza in Kansas City today. We ate at a nice Chinese restaurant, then got cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory . . .yum!! Then we walked around looking at all the fancy shops and fountains for a while. We try to go out together most weekends now. For many years we didn't go out very often without the kids, but when Ryan got called to the first bishopric the Stake President gave me a HUGE lecture about dating my husband. He said that if we were not making dates a priority in our marriage, then we were going against the Prophet's counsel. Ouch! We've tried to do much better and have had so much fun that I don't know why we didn't make an effort before. Probably because paying babysitters didn't always fit well into our budget.

On a whim I decided to throw a huge "Back to School Bash" for 22 little girls next weekend! Alright, maybe the "happy pills" I was on helped a little too much! Brevan didn't want to be involved in a "silly party," so I told him "fine, then me and the girls are going to go all out!" It will be next Saturday. I'll have to take a bunch of pictures when I'm not too busy (ha ha). I think it will be a blast. I love doing things like this.

Well, I'm headed back upstairs to watch more women's Olympic volleyball. Those girls are amazing! We are having so much fun watching all the events.