Well, my summer goal #3 is accomplished. I am officially done nursing. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about it. I feel very FREE, such as last night when I went to a "girls night" and didn't have to rush home to get Logan to sleep. I stayed out until midnight! Also, Logan has already started sleeping better (my babies always wake up at night to eat until I stop nursing). But now the whole baby stage is officially over. For over 10 years I've been either pregnant, nursing or planning when to get pregnant again. Now my family is complete and I feel a little lost. Not to say that I'm not looking forward to this next stage of life, but I guess I've always known what I'm "supposed" to be doing, and now I'm seeing life in a different way. I can have an actual 5-year plan of what I want to do, but what is it that I want to do now? This past year has been the fastest year of my life. I found myself getting defensive the other day when someone commented on how Logan is getting to be a toddler. He's just my tiny baby, right?! I never would have thought I'd have such a struggle with this. In fact, I was never much of a kid person before I actually had my own kids. I'm too embarressed to admit what a bad babysitter I was at times. The first diaper I ever changed was the day Brevan was born. Kids used to terrify me. When Brevan was 3 I was called to be his Sunbeam teacher, and I CRIED because I was so scared. Now today at church I substituted Lindsey's Sunbeam class and absolutely loved it! There were 8 busy 3-year-olds in there, but I just love to talk to them and play with them. It's strange to think that I'll never again feel a baby kicking inside me, I'll never again hold my swaddled newborn in my arms, I'll never get to feel the closeness I felt with my babies when I'd nurse them. I guess I just have to look forward to being a grandma someday. Ryan and I already talk about how excited we are to be grandparents!
The girls are in the other room watching a movie on TV called "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." When Brynlie saw the name of the movie, she said, "Oh! I have to watch that because I'm a drama queen, too!" I realized she thinks I'm complimenting her by calling her a "queen" when she acts dramatic. Also, today Brevan found some raman noodles in our storage room and said he wanted them for lunch (yuck. I told him he will be a happy guy when he's at college if he likes raman noodles, because that's all that college kids can afford). Then Lindsey came running up to me and said, "I want some rotton noodles, too!"
5 comments:
Yay! I am truly so envious of you. How old is Logan? Any tricks you want to share? I actually nursed Will until he was 2 and Adri is 15 months and I truly do love to nurse, but she still thinks she needs to nurse all night and won't ever let me just cuddle her unless I am nursing. Will finally slept through the night too when I weaned him, and functionally (or I guess, non-functionally) I am just to darn tired to keep up on my life. She just got done with major and constant teething for the past several months and so I'm trying to get her to cut back a little now that she isn't so miserable. Anyway, it is one of those bitter sweet. I truly do love to nurse, but I can't wait to be done. Congrats to you, though! A little Freedom sounds lovely.
Congrats on the goal accomplished. That is always hard. I can only imagine how you are feeling with the last one. That is hard, and I am sure very emotional. I don't blame you. It is almost like Christmas when you have a baby! Just think of what Young grandparents you will be. You two will be a party. Brynlie makes me laugh with the whol drama queen thing. What adorable girls you have. I may just have to come out and stay with you guys just to hang out with those two! I am already clearly out numbered!
Ali,
Thanks for your memories comment. I had forgotten some of those. It is funny that we used to have those sneak sleepovers on school nights. What were we thinking? I actually remembered that cabin and the Huck Finn pretending the other day. Now I can't remember what made me think of it but I had a total flashback playing in that water and catching tadpoles. Being a kid was fun. It was sick that we ate those mashed potatoes so often. Do you remember we even put olives in them? Yuck! I love to remember and be reminded of the silly things we used to do. It makes me want to get together with our little neighborhood friends for a good old reminiscing party. Some day we'll have to.
Okay so now I feel bad about how I was going on and on about how I am so happy at the stage I am in now with my kids with you. eep! HAHA. I do have to tall you though. Campbell is my baby. He will always be my baby. He will never be anything but. ;-) They may get older but that part never changes. At least for me it hasn't.
The five year plan. I want one of those! =) You are so positive about things though. I admire your ability to admit when you are unsure about things. Makes me realize I am not alone and that I don't have to be so darn brave all the time. =)
isn't weird to end certain phases of our lives and start new ones. It can be so hard but so exciting too!
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