Bitter-sweet

I'm feeling a bit melancholy today.  Ryan tells me I've been a recluse since getting home from church.  I did come out of my cave long enough to help make a yummy Father's Day dinner for the daddy of my kids.  Good thing Ryan is super-low-key about Father's Day, since I didn't exactly make it a special day for him.  I planned to buy a grill or *gulp* gun safe for him, but he told me not to buy anything since he purchased some new clothes last week.  And golf clubs.  And items for the boat.  Yep, I think he's good on gifts for a while.

Today was full of changes for me.  I despise change in all shapes and sizes.  Unless it's my pant size changing to a smaller number.  Today's change was the release of my time as Primary President.  I sat there in Sacrament meeting while the Bishopric member thanked me for my service, and thought about the Primary ride I've been on the past two-and-a-half years.  I was asked to serve at a difficult time when I didn't think I had the physical or emotional energy for such a demanding calling.  It's funny how Heavenly Father works.  I can honestly say that my Primary calling got me through the past 30 months.  And I'm keenly aware that I'm being released at the right time, but it's still not easy.  I love those Primary kids so much.  It has been an absolute joy to be in the Primary with my own kids.  I was there when Brevan graduated up to the Young Mens program, and there when Logan sat in a tiny chair on his first day as a Sunbeam.  I love all the little children in that room, and I will thoroughly miss their hugs and smiles as I move on to my next challenge/blessing.

I was called to serve as the 1st counselor in the Young Women's program.  I get the opportunity to serve in a presidency with amazing women, and to gain a relationship with some beautiful, talented girls.  But I sure am nervous.  As I looked at the Young Women today, I was struck by how different their expressions were from the ones I had just seen on the exuberant Primary kids.  I have some shells to break so I can get to know these girls on a personal level.  I've worked with the YW many times in the past - in fact, I served in the YW organization the last 3 years I lived in UT, and the first 3 years I lived in Missouri - 6 years straight.  It will be a fun challenge, which is something I do love, even if I hate the change that brings on the challenge. I'm also grateful that although this will be another demading calling, I won't be the president in charge!

I'm off to give some extra love to the #1 Man in my life.  I'm so glad he let me be selfish today by taking time to myself.  I'm sure I would have been annoyed if he had retreated into his own world on Mother's Day!  I'm so in love with that husband of mine.