Much Ado About Aspergers

I'm back from my fun girl vacation in Utah!  It was wonderful and relaxing, and everything I'd hoped it would be.  But as great as the last couple weeks have been, I am excited to be back in the swing of normal life.  It's always hard to find a time to get away, and having two vacations back-to-back left me feeling a bit sad about all the activities going in with the kids that I missed.

Our computer totally died.  Again.  And this time we've decided to just purchase a new computer rather than pay large amounts of money to give it a temporary fix.  Until the new one arrives, I won't be able to upload any pictures.  I'm grateful that Ryan has a work laptop, so Brevan can still do homeschool work in the evenings. 

Today I went with a friend to watch a session of Social Skills Therapy.  This friend has two daughters who are physically disabled, one of which also has a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome.  Watching the therapy session was fascinating to me, and I'm considering having Brevan work with the therapist.  Tonight I am very grateful for patient therapists who sincerely desire to help children with special needs.  Aspergers does not define who Brevan is, but it is a constant challenge for him and us.  I am also feeling overwhelmed and a bit sad tonight, as I realize that I am not parenting Brevan in the most appropriate ways.  I lose my patience too often, and end up lecturing far too often, since I seem to always be battling with Brevan's brain about appropriate behaviors.  My heart goes out to those parents who deal with far more difficult special needs with their children.  The longer I am a parent, the more I realize that I have very little control over how my children act and who they will become.  I think being a parent is one of those earthly experiences that can help us become more like our Heavenly Father by humbling us and making us see that we really don't know much at all.  Most of my great parenting theories have been completely blown out of the water by my wonderful children.

I've been networking online for the past many hours, trying to connect with other Aspergers parents, who may be able to share some success stories with me, as well as give support and understanding.  I don't ever want Brevan to feel that his diagnosis is a disappointment to me.  I want him to understand what an incredible person he is, with divine potential, who will always have to work extra hard to connect appropriately with other people.  Hopefully Brevan can help me learn patience and acceptance, as we work together to prepare him for a less-than-kind world.

My new goal for parenting Brevan is to understand the difference between natural consequences ("you are bothering your sister while we are eating dinner, so you need to leave the table") and punishments.  I need to stop focusing on punishments and instead focus on positive reinforcements.  I'll be honest, it's not going to be easy.  When I heard the shower running for 30 minutes today and went upstairs to tell Brevan he had been in the shower WAY too long, only to find him reading on the bed "while the water warmed up," was I seriously supposed to just let that go?  I don't know the "correct" answer, but I did make him pay me $5 for the water he wasted.