Some things I've had on my mind...

A collection of recent thought-provoking moments:

In an article titled "Getting Rid of the Pride and Guilt," the Eyre's told a story from when they visited a different churchhouse.  After listening to a parent brag about his perfect children during a Sunday School lesson, a quiet man raised his hand and told the bragger, "God must notta thought much of you as a parent, sendin' you all them easy kids."  The Eyre's go on to say, "Knowing what we know about our children's pre-existence, about the eternity they have already spent becoming who they are, we had better not take too much credit for who they are.  As LDS parents, most of us recognize that we have much less to do with who our kids are then their own growth and development over their past parts of eternity.  So we had better not feel too much pride for their gifts and goodness.  And for the same reason, we had better not feel too much guilt for their imperfections and problems.  Because that courageous little farmer could have also said, in another situation to another parent, 'God musta thought quite a bit of you as a parent, sendin' ya that difficult kid.'  When we see other parents struggling with serious behavioral problems, instead of judging them as poor parents, perhaps we should respect them for how hard they are trying and for the fact that they were selected by some divine process to be worthy of very difficult parenting challenges."

Being a parent is just so hard.  I found a bit of pleasure in the words of a simple farmer.

During a meeting with the Stake Primary President last week, she stated, "We all work hard in our callings, and get to a point where we feel comfortable.  Then one day we are released and our immediate thought is, 'I was just getting used to it!'.  Get used to it now.  Feel comfortable now.  So when you do get released, your immediate response will be, 'Wow!  What a ride!'"

And some wise words from our wonderful Bishop.  During Ward Conference last weekend, he made the statement that the Gospel is not a spectator sport.  I loved this analogy, since we are sports lovers at our house.  He explained that instead of sitting on our couch watching the Gospel in action, we need to be in the game.  We can not stand by and yell our critiques at those who are "in the game."  Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is an action.  It can not be accomplished by sitting idly by and watching others do the work.

For the past two months, the Spirit has urged me to bear my testimony in Sacrament meeting.  Let me tell me how guilty I have felt while I have ignored that prompting and watched 1) a brand-new adult convert bear his testimony and 2) a man investigating the Gospel who has not yet been baptized but found the courage to bear his testimony.  I feel like a big old loser.  I have a hard time walking to the front of the chapel and having eyes on me while I share my deepest feelings.  It has nothing to do with my actual testimony - that is solid.  I always fear coming across as self-righteous or an attention-seeker.  Maybe that's strange, because I certainly don't think that about the other brave souls who bear their testimonies.  I just prefer to keep my deepest thoughts and feelings inside me, and only share them in intimate settings.  That could be completely wrong.  I promised Heavenly Father that I will gather my thoughts and make the long trek to the front next month.  I'm already sweating just thinking about it.

I've had an "epiphany" lately, and I want to record it here so I can remember it later.  Working with others in an employment setting is hard, because there are many personalities that need to get along and work through their differences.  This is the same in a marriage; every married person knows that the keys to a good marriage are compromise, communication and respect.  Well, I find this to be the same in a ward setting.  People will offend each other and there will be disagreements, hurt feelings, annoyances, envyings, and most of all, misunderstandings.  My epiphany centers around a clear image I've had in my mind lately.  It is of Christ sitting in on the stand in a court-room, watching and listening to his faithful followers.  He has such genuine concern and love in his eyes, but there is also a hint of disappointment there.  He loves each of us so much, and His greatest desire is to have us return to be with Him.  I can picture Him being the judge that we take our disagreements to, and He simply smiles and answers, "Do you have any idea how much I love each of you?"  That's it.  No more words are required, because that's all that truly matters.

It is amazing that I have the freedom to worship when and wherever I chose.  It is amazing that I can sit in a room every Sunday that is full of fellow Saints, who have the same core-beliefs that I do. I believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and it truly makes me happy.  A happiness and peace that is indescribable.  I should spend my time and energy sharing that joy, and helping others know how loved they are by our Father in heaven, whether that be my children or any random person I speak to in a doctor office waiting room. 

And one final thought.  Last week, a friend sent me a video that is shown to employees of Chik-fil-a.  Its basic message is to treat everyone with love, kindness and respect because everyone has a story.  And we don't even have to know what that story is.  Just remembering that everyone has a story and is fighting their own demons is enough.