Bummer Summer

Talk about a pity party.  I'm on my fourth cry session of the day.  My parents and all my siblings are together in Oregon for Brangela's wedding (Brandon + Angela = Brangela).  I miss them, and want so badly to be with them right now.  I want to make semi-inappropriate jokes with Kara and laugh until I pee my pants.  I want to hug my Mommy and Daddy, who I haven't seen since last year.  I want to cry with Tiffany as she watches her baby boy get hitched.  I want to tease my only brother because that's what little sisters do.  I want to see the bride and groom beaming with joy.  Instead, I'm in Missouri, dealing with stupid cancer and irresponsible people.

I've been told how "inspirational" our family has been through Ryan's health issues.  Not today.  I'm grumpy and letting it all out.

The renters that have been in our Kearney house for the past 4 years just moved out.  We went over to check on the house this past week.  Before I even walked onto the porch, the smell of dog urine overpowered me.  The entire house is saturated in dog pee, plus there is dog POOP all over.  Who lives like that?  They also left all their junk, trash, broken furniture and unwanted clothes.  I sat on the back deck and sobbed.  That house was in perfect condition when we moved out, because I had put my heart into redoing every square inch of space.  I bet the bathrooms haven't been cleaned in at least a year.  The weeds are so overgrown that they've killed plants and trees that are buried underneath.  I'm sick just thinking about the amount of time I have to spend over there before we can rent it again.  Using money we don't have.  Because all our money is going toward *bleeping* medical bills.  The entire house needs to be repainted, as well as completely re-carpeted.  All the equity we've made in the past few years just flew out the dirty window.

I have 3 1/2 weeks left in this college semester.  So help me, I may go insane from stress before the semester ends. I'm looking forward to having 6 weeks off school, so I can accomplish some items on my ginormous to-do list.

I joined the 9Round gym about a month ago, and really love it.  After my third cry session today, I went and kicked/punched out my aggression.  I'm a sweaty MESS when I finish each workout.  I'm glad to be back on the exercise bandwagon because I feel better about myself when I'm doing something physical.

I feel like this every time I get dressed.  Fat cells, prepare to die.

I have my own pink boxing gloves and wraps.  I could cause some serious damage if I strapped those things on while in my current butt-kicking mood.