His superpower is killing cancer

The fight is on to kick cancer's butt.  Last Wednesday (the 31st) we met with the oncologist and a nurse practitioner for "Chemotherapy Orientation."  Quite possibly the worst way to spend an afternoon.  We had to learn about each specific drug and the side effects.  We also saw other patients in the middle of chemo treatments.  Moments like those are really sucky, because the reality of the situation hits us like a ton of bricks.  No one can prepare you for a cancer diagnosis and the roller coaster of emotions that takes over your life.

Tiff and Dan bought this Superman shirt for Ryan, and he's decided to wear it to every chemo appointment.  He is a Super Man, even when his hand is clenching the chair in fear.  Porters have now informed us that they bought superhero shirts for every member of their family as a support to Ryan.  How cool are they?  I'm definitely going to buy shirts for our whole family, too.  

While Ryan is in chemo, we will be at the Cancer Center at least once a week, on Wednesdays.  Once he starts radiation, we will be there daily. 

Yesterday morning I took Ryan to St. Lukes Hospital so he could have his PICC line (peripherally inserted central catheter) placed.  While he was being prepped for the procedure, there was still a small smile on the face of my Super man.

As the procedure progressed, Ryan closed his eyes while I held his hand.  It reminded me of the time I was in labor with Logan without an epidural and needed to "take" myself out of the situation because I was so scared.  I'm glad I was able to stay in the room with him as long as I scrubbed up and wore a mask and hairnet.

After the needle was in the correct position, the catheter was threaded into the Superior Vena Cava, right above his heart.

At this point, the reality of the situation got the best of Ryan and tears started streaming down the sides of his face.  Nothing is harder for me than seeing him feel vulnerable.

The PICC line was placed, and we were given many instructions about caring for the site.  Ryan's immune system will plummet after the first chemo treatment, so I need to become an OCD house cleaner to keep the germs away.

Ryan will wear the extra wraps so the tubes don't bother him all day by dangling.  I'm grateful for this lifeline that will make my Super man healthy again.

After we left the hospital, Ryan turned to me and said, "so far, this whole cancer thing has been less physically painful but more mentally painful than I expected."

After the emotional day, Mrs. Rennack and Mrs. Haney (my children's Beyond Basics teachers) showed up on our doorstep with a delicious, home cooked meal.  We are blessed to live around some of the most Christ-like people I've ever known.

I'm still in awe at the range of emotions that hit me every day.  Ryan wrote a thank-you email to Scott yesterday, because they recently sent a Bronco's blanket for Ryan to use during treatments.  Part of the email said this:

"Please thank Ann and the girls for their thoughts, love, and prayers . . . they have been felt, and I'm very appreciative of everything you've done for me.  I am grateful for this blessing of going through cancer, as it has truly been a blessing so far.  Don't get me wrong . . . it sucks, and I would rather not have tubes in my arm and get sick for several months, but I've learned a lot about life, God, gratitude, compassion, service, and other things that I'm not very good at. :)  Hopefully my family and I emerge from this trial as better people, and that's really the point of life isn't it? Thanks again for everything!"

I'm in love with a Super man.  He is stronger than I am in more ways than one.