Thoughts

I had the opportunity (or better put, challenge) to address some questions about the church from a nonmember friend this past week. It was interesting, neat and scary all at the same time. I've been walking with friends at 6:00 a.m. this summer, and on this particular day the only people who showed up were me and this girl (she's older than me, but we older women still like to be called girls!). I haven't talked to her very much, because she is good friends with one of the other girls and usually talks with her while we walk. After just a couple minutes of walking, she suddenly said, "I have a question about your church. Do you mind if I ask you about it?" I was expecting something simple, such as "Are you Christian?" but no, I was not that lucky. She said, "I don't understand why a member of your church is kicked out when they do something that goes against the church's teachings. When someone is struggling in sin, I think they need God more than at any other time in their life." Bam! This girl is a wonderful, Christian person who I really admire and I hope I helped explain ex-communication in a way that made sense to her. There was a time in my life when someone I love was ex-communicated and I was frustrated and angry. Since then, I have known many people who have gone through this and later said that it was the best thing in the world for them and their families. Also, Ryan was involved in many disciplinary councils while he served in the Bishopric. He would come home from those meetings and be visibly shaken for days. He would express how strong the Spirit was in those meetings and how much pure love all the leaders felt for the person being disciplined. So I have a very different view of the process of ex-communication, and I have so much respect and admiration for those who go through the process and (in every case I've seen) become a better person because of their trial.

Ryan has a good analogy about ex-communication. Think of a star player on any college basketball team. The coach gives each team member strict rules to follow during the season, such as no drinking the night before a game, be in your room by midnight, etc. Well, let's say this star player comes stumbling in at 5:00 a.m. the night before the "big game," after spending his evening partying. What is the best thing for that player? Should the coach allow him to play in the game the following day, or should he require him to sit out a game or two to discipline him? Is it cruel punishment to discipline the player at a time like this, or would the coach be teaching this player a good lesson? That basketball player knew the rules ahead of time, and knew what he would lose if he chose to disobey them. I believe the best thing for those people who have accepted the gospel in their life and then chosen to make a decision they knew was against church policy is to be "disciplined" by seeing just how much they miss out on when they don't follow the rules. Leave it up to my husband to just come up with such a good analogy.

Anyway, after we had a good talk about that she asked me questions about the priesthood and the temple. It was a great experience because it was a real test to see if I truly believed those things I was saying. When I lived in Utah, it was really easy to go through life in a little bubble, where I just followed what everyone else was doing, because most of them were members of the church also. Not so here in Missouri. We are constantly being watched, and often questioned and even ridiculed for our beliefs. Talk about culture shock for a sheltered Utah girl. But now I wouldn't have it any other way. My kids have been taunted, and even shunned for being a Mormon, so we talk to them about our beliefs more thoroughly than we ever did before. They know they are different, and I hope they are proud of it. But more important than being different is the fact that WE ARE THE SAME. There are so many misconceptions about the church here, and I love to correct people's beliefs by sharing my testimony with them. People have told me some seriously wild and crazy ideas they have, and it is usually surprising to them when they find out just how much our beliefs coincide with theirs. One of the best things about the gospel is the fact that NO ONE can take away my testimony, or argue with the fact that I have one. They can believe whatever they want to believe, but there is no doubting the fact that I know Jesus Christ is my Savior, the Book of Mormon is true, and we have a prophet on the earth today.