Distractions

When the Porters flew home on Saturday afternoon, I was left with a sinking feeling of despair.  Their visit had distracted me from reality for a week, and suddenly I was left with Real Life and Cancer.  I went outside to do yard work for hours in the awesome 80 degree weather, so the kids wouldn't see the tears that kept falling off my nose and cheeks.  After a while, Logan came outside to help and keep me company.  He is the perfect little companion when I'm feeling down.  We pulled weeds, dug up dead plants and carted all our castoffs to the garbage cans.  When we finished, I felt much better.  

I woke up the next morning to 30 degree weather and snow on my newly-cleared flowerbeds.  Not cool, Springtime.

We met with the oncologist for the first time last Friday.  Although quirky, we feel confident that he is the right doctor for Ryan.  Dr. Sirridge told us many things we already knew through our research, but we also learned a lot of valuable new information.  He calmed some of our fears by explaining the improvements that have been made in cancer treatments in recent years, specifically in fighting off lymphomas.  We learned more about the 2 kinds of cancer cells that were found, the chemotherapy process (including taking a tour of the chemo facility), the staging process, the chances of a recurrence (which are actually pretty high with the follicular lymphoma), the survival rates (which Ryan is going to knock out of the ballpark when he survives and thrives), and the good news that Ryan's lymphoma is not hereditary.  After including sarcasm and jokes in his discussion with us, the doctor said, "I joke around a lot, but your health is no laughing matter to me.  It is my primary focus to get you cured.  I am your safari guide.  I will take you into the jungle and equip you with the proper weapons, but it is YOU that will kill the beast."

Today I got to chaperon Lindsey's field trip to see a theatrical play in Kansas City.  I was excited for a "normal" day after having a couple stressful ones.  I don't want to rehash the frustrations, so I will just mention that we are battling our insurance and will need to pay thousands of dollars immediately so Ryan can start chemotherapy.  Also they won't allow him to get the PET scan for another week, so we are still waiting to see if/where the cancer has spread.  We were also told by our Tax Accountant on Sunday that we owe many thousands of dollars in taxes - the first year we have ever owed - because we didn't claim the correct amount this year.  Money is such a silly thing to stress about, but that didn't stop me from getting in a grumpy mood. I rarely get ornery, but I deserve an "off" day every once in a while so I told the family to leave me alone after church on Sunday.  I did some serious sulking for about 24 hours.  My sister is gone, our emergency fund is quickly dwindling, the IRS is evil, and my husband is battling Stupid Cancer.  I desperately needed a distraction today, so I was happy to attend the field trip.  Lindsey and I had fun skipping along the yellow brick road in the Wizard of Oz display, while singing "We're off to see the wizard!"

This is Lindsey's Beyond Basics teacher, Mrs. Rennack.  She loves my kids so much, but is anxiously looking forward to retiring next month.  Her son-in-law is battling a nasty cancer that will most likely take his life, and her first grand baby is due this summer.  I'm glad she will have more time with her family, even if my kids will miss her at school.

While on the yellow brick road, Lindsey wanted us to pose for a picture.  Since I'm horrible at posing, she tried to position me several ways.  I wish the first picture wasn't blurry because I love the smiles on our faces.

On the bus ride back to school, we took selfies.  This is our "sassy surprised selfie."

And this is our "Miley Cyrus selfie."

While riding the bus, Lindsey started writing her "Life To-do List."  Her random list includes:

Write the screenplay for her book idea titled "Runaway Time Traveler."
Marry an accountant who makes a lot of money.
Become a movie star and walk on the red carpet at least once a week.
Run a business called "Lindsey's Cooler Than All of You."
Kick Mia Hamm's batooshie in soccer.
Own a pink, sparkly convertible.
Have a butler and 3 maids.
Learn to surf.
Go to New York.
Kiss a pig.
Grow a fruit tree.
Move to Utah.
Invent a tiny robot that cleans the house.
Have 4 kids.

She then asked me to explain my "wish list" for when I'm "old."  I could only think of these answers for my list:

Live in a smaller house with a smaller yard.  But still large enough to accommodate the kids/grandkids when we all get together.
Have regular Grandma Sleepover Parties with the grandkids, so I can have one-on-one time with them while my kids get a break with their spouse.
Tour Europe.
Serve a mission with my cancer-free Sweetie.
Drive a smaller car that isn't a gas guzzler.
Own/rent a cabin in the mountains where I can relax and smell pine trees.

How cute is the newest Brace Face in the Ellefsen family, even with incredibly messy hair?  She got her top braces put on yesterday, so she's been in a lot of pain as they cut up her mouth.  I now have 3 kids with Metal Mouth, but Brevan gets his off in a couple months.  Including the braces I wore a few years ago, I'm positive we have paid for the college education of our orthodontist's kids.  Or at least a new car.

Ryan got blood work done at the hospital today, but he won't get the PET scan until next Wednesday.  The waiting game is very annoying,  Once he gets the scan, we will know what stage of cancer we are dealing with, so we can start killing the beast.