What I would tell 16-year-old me (written by Ryan)

I'm trying to get my family more involved in the blog so it's not just Ali's Family History.  While traveling for business last week, I asked Ryan what he would tell his 16-year-old self if he could. These are the very honest responses he wrote.

1.      I guess the number one thing I would tell 16 year old Ryan is that everything turns out fine . . . in fact better than fine.  You end up with a beautiful wife, beautiful children, a wonderful job, lots of friends, and a really great life.  You get the boat, truck, and house you always wanted. 

2.   The boat, truck, and house don’t make you happy.  The wife, children, and gospel do make you happy.  Spend as much time as possible with them, and live gospel principles, and everything will go well for you. 

3.   Invest in Apple.

4.    Enjoy every moment of your mission.  It will be one of the greatest things you will ever do, and you’ll spend the rest of your life thinking about it and trying to remember it better.  Savor every moment, and know that it goes quickly, so work really, really hard.

5.  Don’t ever look at Porn.

6.  Get a business degree.  Although I did learn some great things from being a school teacher, I’m not sure how many of those couldn’t have been learned through business as well.  Also, many of the traits that made you a good school teacher, were innate, and therefore would have been developed through business . . . the difference is you would have been seven years ahead of where you are now. 

7.  When it comes to friends, be very careful who you spend time with.  Listen to your mom's advice on who you should avoid.

8.  The acne will go away, you’ll grow into your ears, and chicks dig the baldness. 

9.  Start playing the guitar now.  If you had started at 16, you’d be really good by now.

10.  Try not to fight so much with your mom and siblings.  Your mother is carrying a lot of baggage from her childhood, and isn’t very happy . . . unfortunately, as the oldest, you get the brunt of her unhappiness, and later in life you won’t have much of a relationship with her.  Do more kind and selfless things.  Help around the house more, and don’t talk back.  You will regret not having a better relationship with her later in life. 

11.  Sean and Erin both go through many trials. Take more time now to foster a good relationship with them, and serve them when possible.  Let them know that you love them, and try to stay in their lives. 

12.  Find Sean Douglass and kick his ass.

13.  Get better grades and take the ACT seriously . . . it is more important than a tennis match and track meet. 

14.  Continue to write in your journal.  You’ll be glad you did someday. 

15.  Start playing golf.  It is an important part of the business world, and it really will give you opportunities that you wouldn’t otherwise get. 

16.  You're probably wondering why I haven’t given you more spiritual advice . . . it’s because I think all of the experiences you will have in life will add to your spiritual knowledge.  You can’t rush a testimony.  It is built through study, but it is also built through apathy sometimes.  You learn from bad experiences, bad choices, and the consequence of those actions.  You can’t really take a spiritual shortcut.  Spirituality is about learning from good and bad choices, and it’s sometimes easier to learn from bad choices.  I’m not suggesting you make bad choices, but I am saying you should try and learn from ALL of your choices. 

17.  Try to be less sarcastic and more humble.  That’s a lot to say in one sentence, and probably deserves some elaboration . . . too bad.

18.   Skip the Freedom Festival Volleyball Tournament in 1994.  You are going to blow out your knee, and it will set you back for the rest of your life. 

19.  Stop worrying about life being fair.  It isn’t, so worrying about it is silly.  Also, fair usually just means “this isn’t convenient for me at this moment so it must be unfair”.  You’ll understand this later in life, although by the time you do, your life will be so good, it will be unfair. 

20.  Work out more.  Having muscles is really, really important in male culture.  Anyone who tells you they don’t care about muscles, or don’t wish they were stronger is lying.  Not only is strength useful, but chicks dig it, and so do other guys if they’re being honest (they admire strength in other guys—not in a gay sense)

21.  Get outside of yourself more often.  At 16, you think the whole world revolves around you, and your immediate problems seem like the most important things in the world.  Take time to look at other people’s problems, and try to get some perspective. 

22.   I know I already mentioned this, but let Sean know how much you love him all the time.  Mom heaps much of her pain on you, and you have a tendency to do the same to Sean.  Love him, and remember that he needs a good big brother to set an example for him.  By the way, you will have a son who is a perfect example of what a big brother should be . . . I’m not sure how that worked out . . . speaking of fair. 

23.  Don’t ride Isaac Jacobson’s motorcycle to the store in 1990 at Snow College.  You will crash, and fracture your skull.  You will break bones in your legs, shoulders, and ribs as well.  And worst of all, you will lose a good friend in Isaac.

24.   I know you aren’t going to get married and have kids for quite a while (I won’t tell you exactly when, or to whom . . . that would take all the fun out of it), but make sure you treasure all the moments in your children’s lives.  Your kids will grow up so quickly, and no matter how much time you spend with them, you’ll always wish you’d spent more.  Especially the first two . . . don’t be in such a hurry for them to grow up. 

25.  In a few years, they are going to invent the internet.  This is a way for people all over the world to communicate through those silly little computers like the ones in the computer lab in school that act like typewriters.  You should figure out a way to sell products to people on the internet.  Actually, this piece of advice is irrelevant if you take my earlier advice and invest in Apple . . . do that and take golf lessons. 

26.  While you are dating your future wife (on and off unfortunately), you will be very mean to a girl who will have liked you for a long time.  Remember to treat others as you would have them treat you. 

27.   In 2005, a real estate agent is going to recommend that you sell your house for less than 200k.  They are full of shit—don’t listen to them.  Also, in 2005 you’re going to think “why did future me tell me to hold onto this Apple stock . . . I could sell it and get a better house”.   Do not listen to somewhat future you, because even more future you knows better.  In 2013, you can sell  1% of your shares and buy an island full of golf courses. 

28.  I know this one will blow your mind because you’re pretty lazy right now, but you will actually be known for your work ethic.  Nobody works harder or better than you.  This will serve you well throughout your life, but since it will be the case, you might as well start working hard now. 

29.   Integrity is the most important characteristic you can have.  Ok, well Integrity and Charity.  Don’t ever lie.  People will like you for you—you don’t have to pretend to be anything different. 

30.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints contains the fullness of the gospel.  There are a lot of good churches out there with lots of good people in them, but the LDS church has all of the saving ordinances and will bring you more happiness and peace in your life than anything else.

31.  I guess to sum it all up, I’d tell you that your life is really good.  Your family is better than you think, and you are better than you think.  Instead of looking at life as half empty, look at all of the things you do have, and relax knowing that you will have everything you’ve ever dreamed of in the future.  Right now you are stressed out about girls, grades, jobs, and other things that will all work themselves out in time.  Right now you just need to relax and enjoy being 16.  Go get a creampuff from Terrels.